Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Lifetime movie? My AncestryDNA journey

When I was little I used to watch those lifetime movies. Being home schooled meant I got to watch a lot of TV but there was never anything good on during the week besides talk shoes, reality shows, soap operas, and lifetime movies. Now looking back I find myself comparing the recent events in my life to that.  

Most of my readers know my adoptive parents (had me since I was 4 days old) were killed when my oldest daughter was 4 months old, my biological mom (met whenever I was 16 years old) died 2 years later of an overdose and then who my bio mom had told me was my dad (met when I was 21) for 10 years passed away the following year. It's been rather stressful and lonely even though I have my kids.  I never questioned my bio mom as to if she knew for sure that was my dad because she was so adamant that my brother and I had the same dad. I guess in hindsight that was my own folly.  

So fast forward to 2018 when everyone is taking these ancestry dna tests to find out where they are from. I couldn't help get excited because I was curious as to what I was made up of especially since I had tracked my bio moms tree back to Vikings like the Rollo the First Duke of Normandy who was a Viking. I thought it was pretty neat so after a tough decision between Ancestry and National Geographic's test I ended up taking the Ancestry DNA test because it was on sale.  

I got the kit, spit in the tube and mailed the results in and waited. It said at least 6 weeks. I was excited that it ended up taking about 4 weeks instead I got my results at like 12am and promptly checked my origins. No major surprises there in terms of locations (side note: funny Ancestry doesn't test for eskimo/inuit blood so when I ran the raw DNA through My Heritage for free it came back with that lil surprise even though it’s the least amount in my blood I think I was most excited about that .09%) then I opened the relative finder......and stared. The names I was seeing was definitely not any kin to the people I was thinking was my family. Now about this time I was cussing my bio mothers name....had she been alive she would not have liked that phone call from me at all. I got lucky one of my matches was my second cousin and had about 5 generations worth of family tree so I was able to identify who my great-grandparents were and so from there I created the family tree I went as far back as possible and then started messaging anyone with the last name I was looking for until I ran into a cousin who unlocked the door I needed. She told me of a family that I had not looked at because they did not show up as being in Cincinnati. Turns out they were.  
I hit this man wife up as well as him praying that it would not cause any drama. She answered the messages first. Now I can only imagine what she thought reading my messages because I didn't leave anything out cuz I wasn't sure if they would hit me up but I knew that the story was insane so once I saw she read my messages I quickly sent an old pic of my mom, as well as the dna results that I had and the tree I was working on. She talked to me but when I asked specifically about the names one of which was her husband she said she didn't know them. I was a little discouraged because per the obits and the other family I already knew that it was a lie so I thought that maybe this was the end of the line because the man had read my message and not responded. So I sent one more message thinking maybe it wasn't him I was looking for maybe it was his brother. He responded at that point quickly explaining that simply was not possible. He asked me a few questions about my mother and finally told me her knew her. 

I stared at my phone a good five minutes trying to think of what to say because I really didn't think I was going to find the right person. It was a very long shot because no one in my family knew who mom messed with because she was the black sheep of the family. So I finally asked him if he thought he could be my dad and he told me there was a chance because it was a crazy time back then which I also expected because I knew my moms history.  

All this happened almost 3 weeks ago and last Monday I mailed in my sample for the paternity test because this time I don't want anything left to chance. I need to see them results but I still find myself talking to this family daily. Turns out I have a potential half-sister and 4 step-sisters. Though it does seem like in comparison to them I may be the hippie wild child. But I am okay with that I am a free spirit and me not fitting in is what makes me unique.  

I am a little nervous bout the DNA place we used after I sent the sample in I looked at the reviews and it is definitely sketchy. Hopefully everything will work out but if not we may end up needing a second test. I suggest always checking reviews before buying anything online!