Monday, January 11, 2016

When you breakup and keep it moving

I don't use this like I used to but I am sensing a lot more posts coming soon because I tend to come back here to handle things that get thrown at me. Call it my way of venting or my way of dealing. So what is the latest thing that is happened? Oh right me and Mr Lies-A-Lot (if the shoe fits) broke up after I got this interesting group of messages from the girl he had been cheating on me with for the last five months. After several days and lots of tears we stopped talking altogether granted I tried to reach out to him after but it is what it is. After that I ended up having mass conversations with his other Ex and we compared our stories and came to the conclusion that this is just him and at his age he will never change. So it's his loss and his new girlfriend will learn soon enough though it is amusing because she tells me she does not plan to be with him in no way so maybe he will get his feelings hurt instead. But since she told me she would be returning the key to my house and my smart watch who knows. Personally I feel like that now I spoke to the other ex and know he did her and me the same way and the new girl was warned then she deserves every moment of him yelling at her in public places, of him refusing to let her leave out of places when he is mad, of him cheating on her because it will happen, and everything in between. But I reckon she assumes I am wounded and lying but time will prove it all. Just like it did with me because I would have done almost anything for him.

 So we keep it moving because that is what I do. And how do we do that??? By going to California on my own for a music festival called Lightning In A Bottle. I am super excited about that actually 10,000 people, house music, light shows, vendors, 4 days of camping. Yes! Everything is already paid so now it is just a matter of counting down the days. I will be flying into San Diego and spending the day exploring all the places I have been and making new memories then I will go up to Escondido to stay and hit the Oceanside or La Jolla beach the next day then go up north and stay the night before going to the festival.

I had to bypass Mr Lies-A-Lot because I needed to find out some information and set somethings up for when I touched down and since he decided to crawl back under the hole that he came out of that meant having to hit up other people I met while I was out and there also make a lot of new connections. Oh I am sure he would get his briefs in a twist if he knew who I spoke to but since he isn't speaking to me I am not overly concerned. He might even read this but again I am still not concerned because he gave me up like I was disposable.

Which means I am back on the prowl and this is where Mr Greys Anatomy comes in. I have known him around 5 years and he just randomly appeared back in my life but below my radar till this all happened. But Mr Lies-A-Lot did some major damage to my whole view on myself and also to my trust for men. So it's like even if I were to give Mr Greys Anatomy a chance it would be a slow moving because I am rather broken.

It takes a lot to admit that I let yet another man not only mind-fuck me but also manipulate and use me. With his slick comments that blurs the lines of what emotional abuse is. But that is what is was I was told many times that I would be stupid to leave him and you know what the honest truth was he was the stupid one because I did nothing but upgrade.

This week has been rough though because on top of finding out about the treachery of Mr. Lies-A-Lot my heat went out the next day and was off for 7 days (with temps in the 20s and down in the teens at night) and that meant my kids had to go stay with their fathers so that they would not get sick which meant I had to deal with all of this full force and completely alone. My school started the day I found out which means I lost points because assignments did not get done. I didn't work for a week straight....the only thing I did do was football.

So now it is Monday there is no going back. Mr Lies-A-Lot appears to be one of those very very few guys on the list that it seems will no longer be in contact with me and part of me aches for that friendship but most of me knows that this should have happened a long time ago. I was nothing more then easy money and a charity case for him. And it hurts but I will never make the same mistake twice.