Friday, January 15, 2016

Not The One

I was told I was vindictive today. But see vindictive would mean that I actually feel the need to get revenge but I do not. I have no need to get revenge because as I have been saying from the start my God has me and he will punish those more effectively for the transgressions against me then I would ever be able to do. Besides my idea of revenge in this situation is doing way better then him or her and personally I do not care if they are "together" or not. He told me that I was not getting him back to which I wanted to burst out laughing. Like I don't believe I have asked for him back because I broke up with him to begin with. I won't ever ask for him back because I was not the one that gave up....if someone wanted someone back it would need to be him begging not me. Because like I told him maybe while I was still upset that might have been a option but the moment I calmed down I was over it.

It does suck to be alone but honestly if you want to be real I have been alone for almost a year. It isn't him that I miss.....I miss the fact that I had someone to share all the moments but now that I no longer have someone stopping me from having friends well now its pretty much like it was with him. I don't have someone here with me all the time but I have people I could talk to. I just suck at maintaining relationships with people because I hate initiating conversations....I am the type that if you do not reach out to me I will probably not reach out to you first.

I dunno there is a lot to think about honestly but none of it is looking back at what I lost because he wasn't even the worst part of my last two weeks. Heck I could of moved forward and talked to him as a friend today but he was still stuck in the same situation. Whereas I am past that.....I sure did post a picture on social media of a conversation again he thought I was being vindictive but truthfully I found it amusing which is why I didn't put his name to it...but he got his boxers all in a twist and had to call and threaten me so that I would remove it and told me he blocked me and we would never get back together. I was like ummmm *click*. I didn't ask to get back together. I was not being vindictive and I do not care if you blocked me. If God wants me out his life then he will remove me just like he yanked dude away. I cannot complain or beg for someone back that I prayed God to take out my life if he was not "the one."