Friday, January 15, 2016

Morning Thoughts


WFA season is starting with practices and then first scrimmage is March 12th and first game is April 2nd for the Derby City Dynamite. This means if I am not working then I am practicing or working out in the gym. It also means that at least 1-2 nights of the week my kids are not with me. Like last night I had to make the drive to the City and because I did not get home till 11:30pm it meant that I was once again alone in this house. I hate it too. I am getting used to it but the second hardest thing is not having anyone to talk to. See before Mr Lies-A-Lot took up the vast majority of my alone time so the silence never felt as heavy as it does now.

Speaking of Mr Lies-A-Lot after not speaking to me and ignoring me for almost a week he decided to call me on my house phone ask me if I was calmed down and how I was doing. I hate when people do that sort of thing and then go back to ignoring me. It is kind of like I been working hard to forget him so him popping back was a set back. And I just sit here like why even call me when he is doing his thing with Boo Boo Kitty but I guess it was maybe meant for his feelings and not mine. I will just roll my eyes and keep moving because either way I know I am going to damn sure do more and make more then Boo Boo Kitty or Mr. Lies-A-Lot so the fact that I will be more successful makes me happy enough. And remember I had told you all about Mr. Greys Anatomy? Well he hit me with some I might have to move to California note and I had to take two full steps back like are we serious? *sighs* All I know is unless someone putting a wedding band on my finger I am not moving anywhere but closer to my family. Who knows how things will play out with him all I know is I am not rushing things like I have before. I have no need to end up in another relationship before I know it is going to be worth it.

BD #2 and me got into over priorities. He feels I should not say anything to him about anything he does. He finally told me the reason he missed his daughters Christmas was because he thought I was sexting his cousin. I find it utterly amusing on every level too because I didn't talk to dude at all Christmas Eve. I lost the majority of the respect I had for him because he doesn't want to believe the truth, and because he should have asked me because in the end he ain't hurting me because I could care less about his feelings when it comes to who I date or sleep with just like I care less about who he sleeps with. What I care about is the fact that it was her first time really opening presents and he let an assumption cause him to not be there for his daughter. That is selfish and then he tried to throw BD #1 up well news flash BD #1 missed ZERO holidays with the family even when he had a girlfriend. BD #1 also has held down a job or the last 2 years straight, was able to get a new car, and while he does not keep his son all the time at least he has a reason now. The only time I will say is that 95% I financially support our son. But BD #2 and me are always at war because he wants to be in his feelings. But the truth his feelings don't matter our daughters is the only feelings that matters.