Monday, March 16, 2015

Selfish Fathers


I have sat down many times typed a little bit and then deleted it all. Things have been hectic because I am going on vacation in May to California and to Vegas. I am pretty excited I need it.

Ziah is getting big she has 4 teeth on top, and is cutting her third and fourth bottom teeth as well. She is into everything and just as headstrong as me. I wanted to move from here....I am so tired of this town. My children have no hope to have anything here and it honestly makes me sad. My sons father understood there is more opportunity for Xay away from here. I don't want to stop my kids from seeing their fathers. Hell I am more then willing to pay all travel expenses but my daughters father would rather her turn out like a nothing then to have the world.

It's rather frustrating to be told by someone who is doing nothing with their life that you are pretty much not allowed to get married and move away, that I am not allowed to better my children or myself because he is selfish enough to want her here. Why when I could make $103,000 a year in my career field in California compared to $84,000 a year here. He hit me with the fact I don't have family out there well I got a cousin who is married with kids and is a CEO of a construction consulting company and I have another cousin who is a dentist and a college professor who also is married. Now I am about to be 26 years old and I believe in quality of quantity. I don't need all my family I just need the ones that are going to uplift me and believe in me and my goals.

So we got a better job, family support, oh wait let's put better education for the kids, more museums, parks, and activities then this hopeless little town will ever have. But I am stuck here why???? Because I am to damn caring but apparently people has taken my kindness for weakness. Oh AND I got called a bad mom because I wanted to get married, have a family, move away from here and give my kids what they deserve.

My sons dad might not be the best in the world but he thinks of what is best for his son rather then what he wants. He knows he has nothing to offer him here so why not give him a chance at more.