Focus. The word repeats in my head like a broken record. Stay focused. My brain tries to trail off somewhere just to be snapped back to reality with the quickness of a rubber band. Most days pass in a haze of dirty diapers and blurry faces. Stay focused. I can't fuck this up like last time. I will not fail. No I just got to keep my focus. Doctors scrutinizing my emotions, how do I feel...do I cry all the time. No, I am okay just got to get into my groove and stay focused. That's all I have to do. But my mind longs for something forgotten. A place memory misplaced between the chapters of my life. I have to shake my head clearing the thought process. Stay focused. School, work, kids...that's all that matters. You can't drop the ball. Sleep deprived eyes staring aimlessly off into space trying to make sense of the tangled web of today's thoughts. Maybe it will get easier but right now I just got to focus.