Monday, December 16, 2013

Baby 101: Things I Wish They Had Mentioned

When I was pregnant with my first child I was all about research. I knew why I made the choices like not to vaccinate, to co-sleep, and to pretty much be the best mom I could be. But even thru all the websites I motherhood is painted into this perfect box pregnancy symptoms are generic and most sites never mention what happen to your body AFTER you give birth (it's pretty scary). Or maybe it was because I wasn't looking for that type of information. Car seats, vaccines, development all trumped things like what would be happening to me.

So while I get ready for my second child I get reminded of all those things plus a lot more that I wished people had warned me about.

1. Nose Bleeds and Mini-Migraines are both pregnancy symptoms, along with sore fingers, loss of weight, and dehydration.

2. Any minor sickness you get you have to suffer it out with lots of water to drink.

3. You may not feel joyful and have happy tears when you put the baby on you. Depending on what your choice was you may still be in pain, you may be stitched up by the doctor, or other clinical things that suck. My first thought was "Oh my God, he has a big head!" But that's okay because you can make up for that moment a million times over.

4. Breastfeeding hurts like hell to start out with. The doctor tried to scare me supplement by formula to which I proved him wrong. My breast were still sensitive and they hurt every latch even tho I had the holds right. They bleed, they hurt when I didn't get to feed him in time. But after the first couple a weeks the pain went away and we became a happy pair....especially when a boppy pillow was involved.

5. They make you use the bathroom before you leave the hospital....I had 4 stitches and can remember sitting on the toilet knowing full well it was going to hurt it took me 30 minutes sitting there before I went. Just saying sometimes it is better to take someone with you....for the next few years of your life you are not going to be using the bathroom alone anyways and passing out can happen. Also don't look at them crazy when they give the sits bath thing it feels like heaven!

6. No one warns you that you are going to ooze weird fluids for 2 weeks or more...and after that stops you may very possible get your period.

 7. Postpartum depression can happen and you not even know. I didn't cry, I didn't feel alone or anything until my son was 9 months old and the doctor put me on meds that I couldn't breastfeed on. I feel like that is when my hormones all changed. I became depressed and distant from everyone my son included. I finally I admitted that I had a problem and got help but it was a long journey till I was okay and I missed a lot of my sons first that I shouldn't have because I was stuck in a black hole. It's not my fault and if you have this happen it isn't your fault. It's not something you can make stop if your feel distant and find yourself always down don't wait thinking you can fix it. Get help as soon as possible.

8. Take pictures and make sure you are in them. Because those moments pass so quickly that before you know it they are 4 years old and not wanting to take a picture because there is something else more fun that has caught their eye.

9. Don't let anyone tell you how to be a good mom. As long as your kids are fed, clothed, and have a warm place to lay there head down at night you are doing all you can. There is no right way to be a mom only you know what's best for your kids because you are the one there 24/7.

10. You will be peed and pooped on, you will be thrown up on, drooled on, become severely sticky, probably at some point pick your child's nose among other things you never thought you would do for another human being. And you won't complain too much and probably look back and tell the stories that you remember with a smile on your face and a laugh on your voice.

Above all else  I wish that people had told me to slow down that this first time being a mom is amazing. You will have bigs up and bigs downs but you will get up because while you might not be able to see it there is light at the end of the tunnel. No matter how many kids you have they will bring out the best and worst in you at times for making you angry to making you cry. Cherish every single second because the cuddly moments only last 6 years.  Motherhood is a crazy journey but it is the biggest adventure you will ever begin that has no ending.