Yesterday I tried out for a Church choir.....yeah I guess I should of knew better because I already knew what a couple of their opinion were of me. But it all comes down to I was not mature enough for the ministry, my life did not meet their standards of living, and if I wanted to come to their Church every Sunday and sing in the Sunday choir I might prove enough change that I could sing.
Matthew 7:1-5 (msg verison) says, “Don’t
pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless,
of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way
of boomeranging. It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and
be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to
say, ‘Let me wash your face for you,’ when your own face is distorted by
contempt? It’s this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again,
playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe
that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a
washcloth to your neighbor."
How do you know my heart when most of you have only spoken to me at best a handful of times? Why do I want to go to a Church when I feel judged for the way I look and how much money I have? Why do I want to go to a Church when it does not feed the hunger I need it to fulfill? Why should I be judged when some of those singing in the group is doing the exact same things I am?
The moment the woman opened her mouth I knew it was about to be all negative and I will give the leader a little props for trying to smooth her words over in a more Christian like fashion but the damage was already done. I will give myself props I managed not to cry in front of them and I managed not to cry in front of my boyfriend and brother. Did I cry yeah....emotions and hormones. Funny I could care less what she said because I don't value her opinion. But the choir leader yeah I have a lot of respect for the man and I would have loved the chance to learned under him.
Do I think this is my boomerang? No I see each smudge on my face loud and clear.....I know each mistake that has cost me dearly something I pay for even when I think I am doing better. I find people are the number one cause for losing faith. They have a way of stripping a person down to where it's like God and me we know each quite personally. Do I think I won't be judged....no I know I will be. But do I think every thing I have done will be held against me? No....I think God will forgive....because my God loves me even if I don't come to a fancy Church every Sunday. My God loves me and hears my prayers I lift up daily. My God leads me to the passages in the Bible that I need.
Judge me by everything do not my personal faith.