Wednesday, May 29, 2013

The Journeys End : Finding My Biological Family

So I been sitting on writing this post for over a week now mainly because I am a little shell shock that my quest for find all my siblings and my parents came to a end this week after 9 years I finally am in contact with all my biological family. I have spoke on the journey with my mom a couple times but dads side took me the longest to find. That right there is a best selling book waiting to happen because I never thought that this stuff really happened any where but on TV.

As most of you know I met my moms side on my brothers 17th birthday (he's 25 now). I met my mom 7 months after that. I found them compliments of the internet and the fact that my adoption papers had a lot of information that a closed adoption shouldn't have, such as my original last name. So I been knowing then for what seems like forever and for that reason I know I am blessed to have the parents who adopted me. I have said it many times my life would have been so radically different had I grown up with my real mother instead of my momma.

So from the time I met my mom 8 years ago I had been searching for my dad. It took me 6 years to manage to track him down. He had ended up with a listed phone number finally and on a spare of the minute choice after checking white pages I made the choice one day bored to try again. Apparently it was my lucky day because an address but no phone number popped up. I knew it had to be him it was the only one in Cincinnati. So I sent him a letter and because he had no idea I existed I sent him a picture of my siblings and I. Lucky for me he who my oldest brother was, he hadn't seen his son since D was 4 either. So I got a letter and a phone number and I finally got to meet him the fall of 2010. Being adopted out means I don't judge my parents by there past and both of them have one. I know more of moms then dads tho. I can't judge dad by his past because he isn't that same person. Even tho I have parents he still is very active now in my life with checking on me and being there for my son and I when we need him. Hell from not knowing me from Adam two years ago he has spent more and been there more for me then my mom has in 8 years.

When I met my dad he told me I had three older sisters he knew where his oldest daughter was but didn't talk to her much. The other two he hadn't seen since their momma took them to the store and never returned (literally some TV stuff but that isn't my story to tell). Anyways I tried looking a little bit for them but the information I had on them was so vague and hell they are girls could have been married or anything I guess you could say I gave up.

So when Big Bruh moved in with me I kinda sneaked visited dad on him. He didn't know dad because mom took him out of his life when he was young too. So after 21 years they finally laid eyes on each other again. It wasn't as bad as D thought....dad was as cool as I told him he would be. A few days later tho I get a add request on facebook. As soon as I seen the picture I told my boyfriend "I think this is my sister!" And it was my stepmom had got her number and talked to her and told her that her brother and sister had been in and she of course thought her only two siblings were in VA...plus there is a 13 year difference between B (the oldest) and me (the baby). It was a wrap after that because as soon as I spoke to her I found the second oldest sister (who has my two beautiful nieces who do pageants like me!) and thru Mika I found Chole who was the youngest until we popped up. I haven't really talked to Mika like I have the other two....I dunno she seems to be wrapped up in her world with not two much interest in having much to do with me but the other two text me a lot. Chole is supposed to be coming down in July to meet dad (who her mother told was dead) and hopefully on down to see me and bub too. I told her she get down here she we wouldn't let her go. She said she felt alone out there I told her she had a large family now and we ain't going now where.

It's crazy though my family is finally complete....I don't have to do any more searching and I feel so much more at peace.

My sister on moms side is out of jail, bout to have my newest nephew, found out he has to have surgery as soon as he comes out her stomach on his heart and then found out her pap came back with cancer cells so they are running tests because they said that if it was for sure cancer that when they do the c-section that they air could cause it to rapidly spread. Cancer runs heavy on my mothers side of the family both my grandparents died from it. They also are doing testing on mom to see if she has a tumor as well. These two I swear always got something wrong with them.

This has been one of the craziest journeys ever. It won't be completely finished until I see my sisters in person but for now I am content to know I am in contact with them. I am 24 years old and I was adopted when I was 4 days. I am blessed in the since that I don't just have one family I have three...and each other imparts a little something into the woman I become. I have no regrets in finding my family some people ask me bout it all I can tell them is the not knowing is worse.