I have been trying to write this post since Monday but the sheer exhaustion that I feel makes it hard to process thoughts. Life has become more normal again. I have been working on my prayer habits and God has been blessing me when I do. I have my apartment all to myself now. Xay stays most of the time with his daddy who lives with my mom and dad. I have been working two jobs since this past Monday work 10-12 hours get home work another 6 hours. I had to do something my parents are not able to pay all their bills so I am picking up there extra bills which is $100-$200, plus the $610 I have in bills each month. Plus the last week of Dec thru the first week Jan I had no food to eat. I can't live like that. It really sucks no seeing Xay because of working so much. But I just got to make it till summer. My plan is to turn in a two week notice and pick up the extra hours for the WAH job. That way I can spend summer days making memories with my son because it won't be to long before he will be off to school.
It feels so weird looking at how big my son has gotten. Saying he is three and will be four this year and then it hits me. I will be twenty-four this year! That's so crazy to think about. It is kind of like where did all the years go? I try to give him hugs and kisses and cuddle him as much as possible when he is here but those days are in the early stages of fading away. He learns so much stuff from my parents. It makes me sad that I miss a lot of it. But all I can do right now is keep working and appreciate the short moments I do get to see him. It won't always be like this for ever.
I have reduced the amount of people I am around just like I said would. I have two guys friends they come by daily. One of them is 28 he is someone I can just chill with and the other is 25 and I go to him for advice or to set a challenge so I don't get lost. I been accused of sleeping with them both that is one of those I got to just shake my head at the rumors. People really ain't got nothing better then to talk. But that is how life is. You can't run from it and no one is perfect.
Well I am an hour and twenty minutes into this 6 hour shift and I gotta to end here. Hopefully if I don't fall over from exhaustion first I will make a post on Sunday!