Saturday, June 23, 2012

Relationship Frustration Meets The Love Dare

I have been frustrated over the last few days. This month was the first time since I got pregnant that I had a period (sorry for the tmi) that whooped my butt add working to that mix and I was just bad off. I was a grouchy, emotional, teary bitch. I even came home one day from work and went straight to bed and didn't get up till the next day. My body just doesn't feel healthy at all. I know I need to take better care of myself then what I am but sometimes most of the time I don't have time.

Relationship wise things are really falling apart.  Honestly I don't know what to do anymore because it seems like the more I try the worse he acts. And to be quite honest it hurts. I don't want to argue with him and yes sometimes I do start ranting at him over stuff. But it's like neither of us can come to an understanding. It makes me really sad to see what we have become because I know that we both have mad love for each other but my mouth and his attitude and disregard for other people is destroying us slowly but surely. I don't want to give up and I won't because I do have this uncondional love for him but I have to admit some of the things he says breaks my heart and I slowly put the pieces back again just to have them shattered. Don't get me wrong folks I have did my fair share of wrong. And I accept that some of this b/s I have brought on myself but after he left for the seven weeks and we broke up that should have been an end to all the past. In my opinion and that was one of the empty promises he gave me....the past will stay in the past. So in the last six months besides being mouthy I have been doing everything right or at least I thought I was. I ain't lied, I ain't cheated, I ain't done anything that warrants the way that he acts. However his mind and mine are polar opposites so he believes that I should feel the same pain he did....but how long does that take?

I watched the movie 'Fireproof' the other night. It was the second time I had seen it. When I remembered "The Love Dare" I thought that maybe just maybe that I can do it. Make I am strong enough and if by the time the 40 days is over and if there has been no change then maybe this relationship wasn't meant to be....and I really hope that isn't the case because Chris doesn't believe that it will work and maybe it won't but I am really praying to God to be with me as I do this and give me the strength to complete it fully rather then starting it and doing a poor job.
Twinkle In Time

So today when I wake up will begin Day 1....I will be posting the daily dare on here please keep in mind I do not own any of the content posted from the book "The Love Dare" which is by Stephen and Alex Kendrick and copywrited by B&H Publishing Group. I would love to post the whole book but I don't have the permission to do so however you can hop over to the KLove blog and check it out by clicking here.


Day 1: Love is Patient - Dare:

The first part of this dare is fairly simple.
Although love is communicated in a number
of ways, our words often reflect the condition
of our heart. For the next day, resolve to demonstrate
patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all.
If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything.
It's better to hold your tongue than to say something you'll
regret.

I really hope that I can work on this because I don't want to loose him because if we break up this time there won't be no coming back for either of us. All I know is that I want him to drop that blasted shield he has so we can finally move out of this hole we are in.