Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Love Is Not This

According to a report from the CDC in Feb. 2008, "Nearly one in four women in the United States reports experiencing violence by a current or former spouse or boyfriend at some point in her life." In a study by the Women’s College Hospital (1995) of  1,000 women 15 years and older 39% reported experiencing emotional abuse in a relationship in the past 5 years. You may think these finding are old but the situation is just the same. Most people look at the physical side of dating violence but the emotional abuse has longer lasting effects because bruises can heal but the heart still hurts.

You have different types of emotional abuse: rejecting, degrading, terrorizing, corrupting/exploiting, denying emotional responsiveness . No matter what the type being on the receiving end of verbal abuse sucks. It makes you feel like you are absolutely nothing. It’s like you do everything you can to understand their feelings, but they never attempt to understand yours. When that they dimisses your difficulties or issues as unimportant or an overreaction; they do not listen to you; you “walk on eggshells” in an effort not to upset them; they manipulate you into feeling guilty for things that have nothing to do with you; they never take responsibility for hurting others saying rather that the person deserved it.
I know how it feels to have hands wrapped around my throat and I know what it feels like to be called a whore, bitch, slut, and nigger. I know what it is like to be hit. I know what it is like not to want walk away even though you know it will probably never change. I know what it is like to keep having faith that it won’t happen again. I know what its like to feel like you don’t deserve to have anything better. I was there when I was 16 years old.
It isn’t an easy road to traveled…you either make the choice to get out of it or take the risk of continuing on. No one deserves to be treated this way and no matter what wrong you just like me it doesn’t ever give a man the right to lay hands on you. Abuse isn't limited to when you are punched….abuse is being hurt in any shape or form.
If you think you see the signs of abuse in your relationship and you want to talk there a anonymous hotlines out there for you. Two of my favorites is:
Loveisrespect.org – Which is a for youth and young adults. They have a live 24/7 chat, a text hotline (just text “loveis” to 77054), and a regular phone hotline (1-866-331-9474 or 1-866-331-8453 TTY).
My other favorite is:
Thehotline.org – Which is the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Their phone number is 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224(TTY)
Don’t be scared to walk away because you might not get another chance.