Saturday, September 3, 2011

Passing Thoughts

Life has been pretty much at a stand still involving lots of prayer. The need to get a job rises everyday and lack of a dependable car and lack of funds to leave this small town to get a job is hampering my hopes.

I feel like an utter failure. Like the harder I try to get my priorities in order something stands in my way. Balancing everything is hard and quite frankly without being to provide is killing me because I have managed in 9 months to destroy my credit, loose my bank account, have my car fall apart piece by piece....well thats just half.

Xay is getting so big on me. He will be 2 years old in October. He weighs 32lbs and is 36in. He says sentences like "momma want dat!" He calls his mamaw "mamah." He is the bane of our kittens existence. Sometimes he holds them right others we are chasin after him tryin to save them from being choked to death. He also had a run in with squeezing his dada's hamster and almost getting bit.

He tends to tumble off our porch and no matter how many times he does he still likes to get as close to the edge as possible. He gets bumps and bruises and has knees that look like they been well worked. The hair might fool people but this child is all boy. And the scary thing is he is just like PJ and I.

I find myself wondering what it will be like when he gets 16. I will be 36. Which really isn't as super old as I used to think. I wonder how he will be because his daddy and me both had a wild streak. I wonder if he will play sports. If he will be a little playa or a soft heart. I love watching him grow and years pass by quick.

This weekend is the local Honey Festival. I remember two years ago I was anxiously waiting his arrival, a year ago he wasn't even walking yet, and now he was big enough to watch the parade and pick up candy.

Sadly there will be no pictures compliments of the one who stole my camera.