I have been avoiding posting lately. I haven't known what to say. I still don't know what to say now but, I feel like I am about to explode from all this pent up emotion. I have been thinking a lot about all the mistakes I have made. And I have made a lot of them especially where Chris is concerned. I have taken him for granted, wanted to run away from him, wanted to hold on to him, and now I think I might have lost him. By my own mistakes. Can I change them? No. So what do I do? I wake up each morning hoping that something will give. I mean we have both held on through a lot. We both have messed this relationship thing up.
All I want is to settle down. All I want is to get married, and have more kids. All I want is to work and make money so I can support my family. But is that possible? Apparently not.
I feel myself sinking again.
I feel myself falling into that pit of depression again.
I just hope the Lord will see fit to save me.