Saturday, June 18, 2011

Major Depression Battle

To all those new readers my blog has taken a turn from fullblown mommy blog to also targeting depression. It is my niche you could say like the ladies from SITs are so popular for saying a blog needs. I know that a lot of you are reading looking for answers or maybe just support and you have it with me. If you all ever need help feel free to email me.

Today I want to take a closer look into the type of depression and anxiety I suffer. According to my therapist I suffer from major depression, previously anxiety NOS but now borderline post traumatic stress.

Major depression isn't something that is easy to live with. For those of you who don't know the symptoms include:

Those symptoms might include (my thoughts on the symptoms are italic):
  • Fatigue or loss of energy almost every day (I found that I had no energy, that I didn't seem to get enough rest even though I would sleep longer then 8 hours a night)
  • Feelings of worthlessness or guilt almost every day (I feel like I am a horrible mom, like I can't make anyone happy, that I am not good enough)
  • Impaired concentration, indecisiveness (Can't concentrate on things like driving, or people taking)
  • Insomnia or hypersomnia (excessive sleeping) almost every day (when I did try to go to sleep it would take several hours to fall asleep.)
  • Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in almost all activities nearly every day. (I lost interest in my son, my computer, my school, my relationships almost everything that made me happy no longer held interest or made me happy)
  • Psychomotor agitation or retardation (restlessness or being slowed down) (I constantly wanted to be on the go. Never staying one place for long periods of time. I hated being home.)
  • Recurring thoughts of death or suicide (not just fearing death) ( I never had thoughts of killing myself but I did have lots of thoughts of stuff killing me.)
  • Significant weight loss or gain (a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month) (I went from 140 to 120 in a month and a half). 

Major depression sucks; we have been battling since my son was 9 months old (almost a year). I have been on two different meds (Celexa and Prozac) and had my dosage up from 20mg to 40mg. Now remember because Prozac works for me doesn't mean it will work for you. Celexa might work for you but in my case it made me like a Zombie.

The reason my dosage got up was because I have taken several anxiety attacks so Prozac 40mg instead of 20mg and Vistaril are what was given to me to treat them. I take vitamins regular now too (caltrate, b12, b6, iron). Overall the last week I have felt really good...but that doesn't mean the depression won't try to strike again.