Sunday, May 15, 2011

I can see clearly now the rain is gone....

So things are looking better from my end. You see I have hit rock bottom so the only way out is up and it has been a very long journey but I am finally starting to see the light and I am beyond happy.

I started a new college. I am new going to the Art Institute Pittsburgh Online for my bachelors in Graphic Design. This is me following my own advice for once. I have told so many people that if they really loved something then that was what they should make their career. I love editing pictures, tweaking them to suit my needs. So why not turn that into a career? The average salary for a graphic designer is $43,000 a year. It isn't a lot but it is more then enough to survive on (trust my son and I live for under $20,000 a year).

Maybe the meds are doing their jobs or maybe I am just getting settled back in but I am finally gaining weight. One pound shy of being back to 125lbs and I am very happy about that. Been packing away the krispy kreme glazed donuts for real. I mashed nine of them today! I don't wanna be a skinny bitch ya'll! It is scary because I didn't know the girl looking back at me. To not be on drugs I looked bad.

I feel stronger not so tired anymore and I am starting to keep Xay more. He randomly comes up the stairs and knocks on my door all by himself other times he cries and I refuse to walk away when he is crying after to me so onto my hip he goes and up the stairs we trot. Speaking of hip I went to the chiropractor I was all out of whack! My hip was rotated my back was all outta place. He told me I shouldn't lift Xay but he must not remember what it is like to have a toddler because folks it is impossible not to lift a 18 month old.

Life with Chris has been really good. We haven't fought any and I have come to the understanding that I need to let him sleep off the days that he wakes up grouchy and feels like shit (like today). That way we don't end up fighting and he is happy and so am I. Being in a relationship means that you have to find common ground. It means you both have to be understanding of the other and work around the others faults rather then trying to force them to change something they might not be able to change. Yeah I think Chris could benefit from the same help I get but I would never force him to do something....heck I won't even force him to the hospital if he has a seizure unless it is a really really long one. Which thankfully has never happened yet but there is always that possiblity since he doesn't take his dilatin the way he is supposed to.

Anyways I feel better about blogging now. I am finally coming out of the darkness and I am thankful and blessed.