Friday, May 21, 2010

Now Then...

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Xadrian is officially 7 months old. My how much he has changed. At 25lbs he is a lot to pack around and could literally eat you out of house if he was given the chance. Is it healthy for a kid to eat so much? He communicates well or maybe I am just learning him better. Either way I am so happy (and that is biased of course) to have the most perfect son. God blessed me with a little man who would constantly amaze me that I deserve him.

Life around here has been tense the last week. I am hitting a brick wall repeatedly over here control in my and my sons life. My eyes are also taking in the fighting between her and my dad. I really need out of this house and I am praying that God will allow me to see what it is I need to do to make that happen. I mean in all honesty I am 21 years old which is by all means a full grown adult. I have a 7 month old baby so why am I still letting her control me? I really need to examine myself because I can say I am scared, or I don't want to cause drama but I really don't know. I just feel like I am being held I am never going to reach full potential for what I could be and in being held back it is in turn hurting my sons future. Because God help him if she tries to be the way she is over me over him. No really I think that is my breaking point. I mean I love my mom but Xay is my son, my priority, my main concern, and why I appreciate advice I do not like being told how to raise him and I especially hate having what I say be undermined. But enough ranting.

Today was actually a pretty good day. Mom, Dad, Xay, and I went to Paintsville to a Grandview store that sells Target return stuff. It was pretty cool it had some cheap stuff that I liked. We ate at a Shoney's afterward and overall it was a good day. That is of course until we get home and tension rises.

In other news Rob's (PJ's brother) had his PSP with 4 games stolen from the house. We know who did it but we can't prove it. I cannot stand a thief, I have had way to much stolen from me over the years and I would sooner go ninja and kick someones but then to be peaceful about it like I used to. But I am stressed I mean we did warn him before to keep stuff out of sight. But what is worse is that Rob or PJ has stolen $5 of moms quarters out of her room. I honestly don't believe it was PJ simply because he will ask mom for money. But Rob I am not so sure of. 

Again it is all very frustrating. But I must run; I have a crying child.

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