Thursday, March 4, 2010

The difference between in love and love

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Today was...interesting? I guess? Mom went to Lexington to go to court to see about my ex boyfriend Chris. Of course her going to Lexington means Xay and I had to go with and I am sure you all know how that went over with PJ right? Yeah, it was interesting. He has the issue that because that was my first love that I am going to leave him and go back to Chris.

I will be completely honest when I met Chris I fell head over heals. We dated, broke up and didn't talk for 2+ years. Almost 3 years later we tried dating again and it was an epic fail. Now don't get me wrong I will always care for Chris but there is a lot of water under the bridge now. Chris had many many chances and back then I would have easily taken him back, hell I probably would have married him if he had of stayed off drugs and out of trouble like when I first met him. I made a promise to him the same promise I have made to most of my ex's that I will be there if he needs me and for the most part I have kept that promise much to the dismay of whoever it is I am dating at the time. Chris happens to be one of the ones that floats in and out of my life like the changing seasons.

But what I am getting to is that I am happy with PJ truly at the moment I am happy with him despite the fact that he does things that make me want to kill shake him at times. I mean I don't just spend almost 2 years (none of my past relationships lasted that long) with someone for the heck of it. I mean seriously I am not that type of girl. I did intend to break up with PJ whenever we first hooked up, heck this whole thing was only meant to be a short term fling....but then it turned into a long term relationship and who knows what the future holds right? I know most of you know the difference with be "in love" and "loving" someone right?

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."
-St. Augustine
 
Make sense? Being in love is totally different then loving somebody. So to explain it I love my mom, I love a few of my ex's, I love the few close friends I have, I love my son...you get the picture. But I am "in love" with PJ. But the whole earthquake hasn't subsided yet to see if we are going to be one tree or two. So we shall see. 
 
 Now on to the main point of this post! I got long winded on one subject again! After court was over the hunt for Xay's Easter outfit resumed (because I have been hunting for the last few weeks). I went to the mall (Baby Gap, JCPenny & Gymboree) no such luck. We made a side trip to Mother Nuture to check out some cloth diapers (none I liked enough to pay that price for). Then finally went to Super Wal-Mart in Winchester. 
 
That was a jackpot; I've never felt so freaking thrifty in my life! I found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow people! I mean I spent $14 for $120 worth of clothes. I bout 14 things each piece being of course $1. I not only got an outfit for Easter, but also for the movie premier, and also a few for when he is older. But I also got a pj set (actually 3 but only one for now) for him for now...and that my dears is the whole reason for this post. I wanted to share some new pictures!!
 
 Little feet and little hands make my heart melt.
 
 Just got done yawning.
 
 Posing for the camera...really?

Hmm...this looks interesting mommy!
 
 This is by far my favorite. The gentle smile and the bright
eyes just make him so adorable...of course I am biased. 

So that is all for tonight, tomorrow is Thursday which means newspapers *insert groan* and being stuck in the car for at least 2 hours. Rachel is supposed to stop by sometime tomorrow too. Night everyone!



2 comments :

  1. OK... so who is you babys daddy? Pj or chris?

    First of... If it's not Chris baby you need to shut Chris out of your life.. He is your EX for a reason.. Put your self in pj's position.. how would you feel if he ran to the aids of all his ex's?

    You need to figure out want you want instead of leading this poor guy on.. And I dont think you should be around any one who does drugs period! your going to end up in a dead beat situation and some thing will happen to you or that precious baby.. Once a druggy always a druggy.

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  2. I hope I didnt affend you.. Not meaning to at all.. But my Personal oppinion I think you should Let go of what you have been trying to hold on to.."Cris".. Even though PJ knew about Cris and your situation still is not fair.. HAve you asked PJ? Honestly, what does he think? You need to let go of the past.. GO to mck mamas forum and write a post about it and get feed back.. yo uwill see that im not the only one who will say that..=)

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