Monday, February 15, 2010

Let's talk about sex.....

Today has been....boring more or less. I can't say I have done anything productive because that would be a lie. There is snow outside and the roads are icky so I am stuck indoors....I will rephrase that I have been in my room with the exception of going to the bathroom. That is it. I have played a whole lot of farmville on facebook and avoided confronting the whole sex issue with PJ.

Speaking of which be warned I am about to delve deeper into this subject!!

I have been without sex for the last 6 months (keep in mind my son is 4 months). Even before my son was born I was to the point where I simply did not have an interest in doing the deed. At my age that is weird...right? I am not sure. It's like I have hit an arctic freeze or something. Maybe it is the shift in my thinking, I mean I have one child outta wedlock. I really want to get my life back on track with God and just in general and sex does not fit into the equation. So the question is how does this work with my boyfriend? It doesn't. He wants it so bad heck my doctor and mom told me that I should give it to him because if I didn't then he would get it from someone else! Am I worried? Not a bit. Do I feel bad for withholding? Absolutely.

But I just don't know what to do! Part of me is scared where it has been so long because I think it will hurt and then part of me wants to tuck tail and run every time he even mentions it. I am open to any suggestions about what to do at this point. Because I don't know how much more of him being mad at me I can take!!


  1. Tell him if he wants it then he better put a ring on it. Period, end of discussion. You're right, you're doing really well on getting on track with God, you don't need to back-peddle now!

    Honest. He won't die. It is not essential to their survival. If he cares about you, TRULY cares about, he won't pressure you.

    Why buy the cow, when the milk is free? Old saying, but true.

  2. Well as far as you wanting to do right in God's eyes you know what needs to be done. But I'm not your boss. It's all up to you. But honestly if he loves you he wouldn't even think about trying to find someone else to have sex with. I also know when you have a baby it changes your outlook on life. What use to be important is no longer important.

  3. You need to tell your boyfriend that sex will be available AFTER he marries you. Sex is much more meaningful when it is an expression of a deep commitment - not just relationship, or an engagement ring, but a lifelong, legal commitment of marriage. That is the wisest thing for both of you and the safest, most loving thing you can do for your son.

  4. Take it to the Lord in prayer and you will find your answer!

  5. I really admire your commitment to get closer to God, and to stay away from sex until you are married. I support doing whatever it takes to "stay the course," until you are ready to be married.

    God designed sex to be limited to marriage, not to give us hardships, but to protect us--from the pain and consequences (as you well know) from sex outside marriage. There is nothing like the security of a loving, committed relationship to make a couple's sexual relationship grow and flourish. I speak from experience. It will be well worth it to wait. Do whatever it takes. See less of each other. Don't be alone together. Avoid tempting situations. Make the sacrifice.

    You will have a much richer love life once you are married, and you will have avoided all that pain.


  6. if he truely loves you, then he will find the strength to wait for you. if you aren't ready, you aren't ready. do what you feel is right for yourself, and don't let others scare you into doing something you would regret. it doesn't and shouldn't matter that you are a mom (and obviously not a virgin), it is your body, and you get the final say on what you do with it. on the flip side of that, i don't agree that god made sex only for marriage. when you get right down to it, sex only exists to make babies, and we have put so much emphasis and stigma to it to make it either fun or taboo. i don't think my husband and i have a better, more meaningful sex life since we got married than before.
    this is the first time i have read your blog, i found it thru mckmama's.


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