Sunday, October 25, 2009

While things run together....

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So upon being asked how old my son was and having to stop and think about what day it was I find myself utterly amused at how my days have all started to blend together in this exhausted haze that I wouldn't give anything for. It is at this very minute (7:15pm) that my son was born 5 days ago and I can not believe it! Where did all the time go? I find myself wanting nothing more then to back up and redo these last few days all over because I know he will be growing leaps and bounds over the next few weeks and while I love it, I also find myself rather sad too.

My mother and I have been arguing a lot over the fact that I am breastfeeding. She wants nothing more then to pop a bottle in his mouth and I want nothing more then to give him the tit and go about my business. I mean anyone who cares anything about there child would at least TRY to breastfeed. That is my opinion now. I mean I thought before he came that I would hate it but yet I love every single second on it even when I have had to get up every 15-30 minutes to feed him at night. Yeah we have both fallen asleep in the chair (safely) but that is okay...we can't sleep with his daddy because he might roll over on us plus I wouldn't feel Chitty Chitty sneak up to see just what the bundle that cries is (haha).

Today was the first day I really took him out in public. I mean sure we took him to see his Nanny and Papaw Jack (mind you these are actually his great-aunt and uncle however PJ and I came to agreement that they will be known as him grandparents....Xay will also know of his Grandpa Bob in Heaven). But as for really taking him out I haven't. However, we did take him to Church today and his first grand viewing I guess in a way. I find myself utterly excited for Shaina and Carl's baby to get here because of where Keevia and Xay will be so close in age. Anyways we also took him to wal-mart and oh boy that didn't go over so well. He decided while in the baby section that he was STARVING and thus he and I ended up in the fitting room feeding. Now while I should have offered him both breasts I really wanted out of the store and so I finished my shopping quickly and to my annoyance PJ was rather slow and thus we ended up walking out of Wal-Mart with a screaming baby who promptly got his fill of milk once we were safe inside the tinted windows of his daddy's car. I will say this now I am going to invest asap in a nursing shaw so I can go about my business and not have people pop up to see the baby. PJ tends to tell people his son is being fed....and not add the breast part and that makes for awkward situations.

Now I also want to take a second and rant about PJ's mom and while I know this is public and there is a 50% chance she will read this I really do not care anymore. PJ and I both have agreed that she will not be around the baby if we have anything to do with it. As a matter of fact she only saw him once and that was by accident and had I not been in the Jackson lab having blood drawn from Xay (he has a touch of jaundice that needed checked) then she wouldn't have seen him then. Now you all may be wondering why I would say such a thing well here goes. It is a shared sentiment with all of her kids and also with their fathers side of the family that she simply doesn't do right by them. First off let's start with the fact that she has this 28 year old boyfriend (PJ's half-brother on his dads side is 27) who drinks (which I could have over looked) who threatened to KILL PJ, threatened to beat him up, and told him he better not come around their house. WTF you are his mom and you are going to let this boy (because men don't act like that) talk to your son like that? What kind of mom are you? Then there is the fact that PJ's dad died 2 years ago and everyone knows how she done his dad while he was dieing of cancer....which I have no tolerance for. But what made things worse was the fact she told her daughter Tiffany that she shouldn't talk about her dad around Eddy (the boyfriend) and that her dad was dead, it was in the past and she needed to move on. Okay if it effects Tiff anything like it does PJ my heart really goes out to her because I know PJ still grieves the loss of his father. As for the other daughter Ashley well Joe (their mom) apparently told her that PJ and Tiff hated her and her mother-in-law called wanting to know what the problem was. Now if you haven't already got the picture I do not approve at all of how his mom acts and I will say this plain as day my son will not know her as grandma....just as he will not know my real mom as grandma. His great-aunt will be his Nanny on PJ's side because she has been more of a mom to PJ then Joe ever has and my mom will be Mamaw because she most certainly is more of a mom then my real mom is.

And now finally I will give you pictures!!

So the first two was when I just got to the hospital and my water had just been broke. All smile then. The last was when I was in the delivery room and had I been able to do anything but scream and hold on to keep from pushing I would have smacked the heck out of PJ for thinking it was okay to hug up to me when I was in that much pain.

The first one here was when Xay first popped out into the world. The nice blonde there is my midwife Carrie in the back the older man is the obgyn Dr. Karmey. Then PJ getting to cut the cord is the next one. He was so scared bless his heart. The next picture was the first time I got to really see him and I was in utter shock...this little life popped out of me and wow he is heavy was my first two thoughts.

I think these are self explanatory. The first one shows just how alert he was from the minute he came into this world. And believe me he has been that alert ever since. PJ and mom are both trying to get a better look at my bundle of joy.

This is Carrie and Melody (my doula / lactation consultant) getting a better look of the wonder that is Xay. And the first real family picture.
Daddy in awe of the little bundle that is his son.

Mommy and Xay sleeping, nursing, and contemplating the idea that is a bottle because she had to pump to prove just how much milk she was producing to get the doctor to leave her alone about supplementing.

Mamaw checking out Xay, Cousin Jackie seeing him for the first time, and our little family on our last day at the hospital.

The flowers Diane and them sent us....they are so beautiful, the steak dinner the hospital served PJ and I (two dinners) and it was the only real food they serve let me tell you, and the way PJ slept whenever I kicked him out the bed (because he took up the whole twin bed and it was to hard for me to nurse and push him out the way too).
Xay sleeping, showing of his eyes (which are a stormy blue), and finally home (that wasn't the full outfit he got brought home in only part).
Hanging out in his car seat, giving mommy a funny look, and sleeping in his crib for the first time.

Meeting his Aunt Ashely, sitting with mommy after eating...this is where we sleep because she can't get up and done that great so staying in the chair is easy for me to nurse and to sleep and safer then the bed where we would have to deal with Chitty Chitty and PJ, and sleeping.

Hanging out in his bouncy seat.

Meeting Nanny, Papaw Jack, and his twin first cousins Natalie and Caleb.

And oh my gosh his circumcision he got done 3 days ago (the plastibell) is already falling off!! Wow they said 5 days or so. Now we just got to wait for the cord to go and we will be set. And I need to look up now what to do since he wants to sleep on his side rather then his back....mind you I didn't think babies could roll on their sides but he sure does. Gotta go feed the munchkin!

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