Thursday, August 24, 2006

So I made a choice.....a choice that could affect me or maybe not......I know it was a bad choice but its life right? I just took 30 equate allergy pills. I know that it won't kill me Lord knows I wouldn't be that lucky but I am hoping for a piece of what Ant and Greg got just to get me away because I can't handle all this. I took them at 10:48. So yeah I know Greg is going to be pissed.....but I just.....I don't know. I don't want to lose him but I can't help but feel like I am making him miserable and I hate that. I hate my mother, my family, everything. I hate how some peoples voices just grates on my nerves.....I hate that I hate myself. So I thought you know maybe I might be the lucky one.....maybe I will od but I know I won't. I considered just taking a bath on top of these pills and just slitting my wrists but then I thought no I can't do that to Greg. I am stupid, I know this but thats life.