Sunday, June 18, 2006

Why is it that even though I know he would never hurt me that I am still scared to death of him? I can't even explain it. But if I think I made him mad I get nervous and scared. The same thing goes for Tim. I thought Greg was mad at me and Tim reached around to pick up a pillow and I flinched like I thought he was going to hit me. I hate it but I can't help it!! I hurt Tim and Greg both on accident....I am not used to anyone having sunburn and being around me. I really didn't mean to hurt them. But I was like "sorry sorry!!!!" Honestly I am starting to hate myself for being so damn scared!

I was supposed to go do Miss Green Co. tomorrow night but mom isn't going to let me go if Greg doesn't go and if it doesn't rain then Greg has to work. Sucks for me but I will live I have to work at Hardee's tomorrow anywayz. So I guess it works out either way.

Greg's granny called me this morning about his other present. Then his mom called me this afternoon about it....she is wanting me to make one for Julie too....but that is a secret. I told her I would.

So I am in a fucking mood....I just want to listen to sad rock songs...get drunk....and cry. But I can't. Well I can...all except get drunk and that is the part that sounds so welcoming right now. Even if I pay for it later. *sighs* What the fuck is wrong with me?