Saturday, May 13, 2006

Stay With Me

Ducky and I fought the night before last. Everyone at the game room is saying that I had a guy leaned up over me teaching me how to play pool. I ALREADY KNEW HOW TO PLAY POOL!!! I learned that when I was like 8 years old. So its all fucked up. He won't believe me. He also thinks I cheated on him when I went camping. I didn't!! Those guys are like 30+ years I have a guy!!!!! It's fucked up. I mean yes there was a crowd there to start out with.....there was Freddy, Doonie (+ his two kids), Arnie (His woman Dawn, and their son Tanner), Johnny Hollan (and his brother), Bugsy, Sarah, Hershell (his woman Gail), and like three others that I don't know there names. But for real the only people who stayed all night up there was Bugsy, Sarah, Doonie, April, their two boys, and me. Everyone else left and went home. Feddy has a woman her name is Missy, Johnny Hollon and his brother is old enough to be my dad!! Bugsy and Sarah were the two I slept with. Sarah slept in the middle, I slept against the back wall and Bugs slept next to the opening. But of course Ducky would never believe me. I hate that about him....he looks for reasons NOT to trust me. Even though I have trusted him even when I shouldn't have. I thought that was how a relationship was supposed to be. Maybe I need to start being the same was as him? Not letting him around ANY girl. He wouldn't listen to me though. He never listens to me. But I love him.....and like I told my mom this afternoon I would give up everything for him. And to tell you the truth I would.

On another note Sarah got bit by a brown recluse spider. She went to Hazard Hospital but they didn't do anything for her. I saw Freda and her man over there while I was walking with mom and little Whitney. She was a tad bit stuck up. So anywayz we turned around and took her to UK the next day because it wasn't looking any better and they explained it to her and told her what to do. They bombed her house and so she is cleaning it. But it killed the spiders!! Sad thing is all three of us picked up a cold from the hospital. Mom, Sarah, and I are so sick!!

Oooh yeah I still don't know what the hell to do for Mother's Day. I want to do something for mom but I have no idea what. Fuck!

So here is something I wrote for him.....let me know what ya'll think.

I lost that shine in my eyes
I lost my will to survive
I lost everything that time
That time you said you wasn't mine.

Everthing is so confusing
And nothing ever stops moving
Even when tears are cried
Even when our loved ones die.

So tell me how do you feel today
Will you still feel the same
Or will you come back to me
Where you know you should be?

I will tell you now I love you
No matter what we go through
And please know I'll always be here
Through your smiles, anger, and tears.

You are my dream come true
My heart belongs to you
So please take heed
And forever stay with me.