Thursday, April 6, 2006

Mother Rant


This was caused do to my mother telling me that I couldn't have a friend call at 9am....and saying I had an attitude when I was trying to talk to her. Which I have a witness to testify that I didn't have one. Oh and the sheriff deputy came by to serve the warrent Kirby got on mom. I told him that she was outta state. So I unno a woman got 10 years for second degree assault and as far as I know mom is charged with first. It's all a bunch of bullshit.

Have you ever felt so lost that you didn't know which was was up and which way was down? Have you ever felt like you were so alone and misunderstood that no one could ever come close to understanding where you were coming from? Have you ever felt caged? Well I have and let me tell you I know why the caged bird sings. All my life I have been over-protected. I have never been allowed to stay all night with a friend (except once when I was 5), I have never been allowed to go with people until the last year without my mother tagging along. Still to this day my mother insists upon treating me like I am 10 years old and I have just turned 17 a year shy of an adult. If I even speak out or say something she don't like it's "Don't take that attitude with me." Even my friends will admit that she is the one that starts off with the attitude. I hate it.
Honestly people think that most teenagers lives are a walk in the park, and granted there are a lot of teens that do have a easy life. But honestly most are dealing with so much that they are a penny shy of a dollar to losing their minds. So what is a teen supposed to do? Reform? Funny. Parents thinks they should have the remote to their kids but let me tell you something God or what ever force you believe in did NOT make kids with a remote control. They will be their own person no matter how hard you push them, and 98% of the time the more you push the more they are going to rebel against the rules. I know that the tighter my mom pulls the more that I hate her....the more that I am ready to leave. She has honestly driven me to points where I wanted to run away, kill myself, and she was the cause of me to start cutting myself (which I no longer do). I can not and will not deal with her and I will not let her control me. She thinks that when I get 18 that I am going to let her tell me what to do and she is wrong. Very wrong. I will leave if that is what it takes. I will pack what I need and what I don't I will tell her that she can throw it out for all I care. I CAN and WILL go to college.....and I will most likely stay in the dorms. That is life. I need an education and I will get one.....and if she stands in my way a well placed EPO will do the trick.