Thursday, February 16, 2006

Sometimes love means....

Eh so I am thinking mine and ducky's relationship might come to an end by my own doing but it will be his fault. Today makes the third day I haven't heard from him and Kirby is living with him again. There is no excuse this time. I can't believe how stupid I have been!!! No Ducky has two choices....he can leave and be with me or stay out there and lose me. But I think his choice is pretty much made since he hasn't called me. Nope not one damn word....I can't believe this. I want to believe he loves me but his actions are speaking louder then any word. I want to believe that I didn't spend almost a year with him gave everything to him for him to turn around and do this to me!

On a happier note I went and saw Sonya and her baby. He is such a cutiepie! He will be 14 days tomorrow. Her mom is going to get me a list of movies she sells bootleg movies for 5 bucks a pop. So I will go get a list tomorrow.

Well I got to run....Ducky has till Monday before I remove all the stuff that has to do with him from my user info. I can and will start my life over if I have to. I don't want to believe me I don't. I love him. But sometimes loving a person means letting them go. If they love you then they will come back. If not well they wasn't yours to begin with. But its just so damn hard! *sighs* I don't know.

Oh on a side note after reading several stories anal sex so painful yet erotic. I have to file that away for future use.