Friday, October 7, 2005

A Love Lost

Um....I think that Ducky and I are officially not together. I know that my heart belongs to him and that I don't want anyone else or to talk to anyone else. But he basicly said that he couldn't take the not getting to be together, his friends asking why I wasn't with him, the fact that my mother acts like I am 2. He couldn't handle it anymore, so when I finally asked him if he wanted to be together or not he said not. You know I thought....hoped that he wouldn't hurt me, that he wouldn't break my heart. But right now it feels like half my heart has been taken from me and that the other half is in a million pieces. God I love him.....I LOVE HIM! What am I supposed to do now? He was the only hope I had in my life....he was what kept me grounded. Now it feels like there is no hope for me to do anything, like I need to run....I need to run far away.