Saturday, August 6, 2005

Wow, I am not quite sure why I haven't been updating as much as I used to. It's like I go through spells of updating. But I guess the first reason was due to depression because I didn't think mom was going to let me see Ducky because it was illegal. But now I guess it is mostly due to the fact that Ducky is here a lot of the time. I mean we have to keep it secret of course, and we have to hide but it is all well worth it. I love him so much it's crazy. A lot of people say it's unhealthy. But I don't care. We still fight but as of late we haven't fought. It's on the fourth day right now and we are still good. I don't like it when we fight.

I went to see about a modeling thing on Thursday. They took pictures and interviewed me and I am supposed to get a call as to if they will use me for this season or not. It's wicked awesome the agency is called Xpo. So keep your fingers crossed.

There is a chance I might be pregant. You all may think I am crazy but I hope so. I know having a child is a large responsiblity. I know that I won't be able to do the things I do now too. I know it would be hard for me to go to college. But you know what? I thought about all of this before I went through with it. I weighed the options, but the thing is I want this. I want a child to raise. I want the 2am feeding, the changing the dirty diapers, the crying. I want it. No it's not to keep Ducky, I know I have Ducky. I also know that if this court thing gets lifted I am going to marry him. So yeah. I ain't wanting the whole "I will live with my mother, she will help take care of my baby and I." That's like a typical teen mom, that's not me. If for some reason Ducky and I did break up. I would want to support myself and my baby. Yes I know it would be hard, and yes I know it would cost money. But thousands of women have done and still do it.

Anywayz, I just wanted to update. I also have a new layout. You like?