Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Aunt Carol called this morning around 9pm. She informed mom that granny had passed away. That's a huge loss on my part because she was the only grandparent I had left and the only grandparent I was ever close to. I loved her so much even though sometimes I didn't tell her. There was so many times when she was in the nursing home that I would leave not even a couple minutes after I got there. I feel guilty for those times but I never wanted to remember her like that. I wanted to remember her as she was when she was living by herself. When she was independant and would tell me stories about her childhood, and back in the day. I was to busy wanting to go home then see her one Sat. and Sun. and when I left I told her I loved her and that I would see her soon. I thought she would be fine and that it wouldn't be the last time I saw her, and I wish I could go back and spend more time with her. I wish I had lived closer so I could have seen her more then once a month or every couple months. But I can't. They are planning on having her funeral Fri. We are going down tonight so mom and Aunt Carol can make the funeral plans. I know they want me to sing, and hopefully we can get ahold of Jamie because mom wants him to be one of the pall-bearers. I don't know how well that will go over but we will see. I have a feeling there is going to be fights with the family, and the very thing that brings us all together is going to drive a large wedge between the whole family. We will see. I probably won't write till the weekend. God Bless you all.