Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Shh it's a secret!

I orginally posted this in Sept of 2002 on my Livejournal. It was one of the only two posts that were public and I was actually surprised at how well it went over. So I am reposting this now 8 years later to see how well it goes over with you all.

Here is the instructions:

Comment on this post anything that you want, and post it anonymously. Anything. A story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love - anything. Be sure to post anonymously and honestly. Post as many times as you like.

Here are the original comments (unedited):
  • I'm gay and noone knows, and I have a boyfriend that wants me to come out, but I'm not ready for that yet!
  • i barely know you but i feel like ive failed you.
  •  I'm worried I'm going to fail some of my classes this semester.
  • jonneatha honey, i will always love you no matter what. no matter we go through or what paths we choose in our lifes, i will always and for ever love you. when you turn 18 and if we are both single at the time; then i am going to marry you. i'll move you far far away from were you are at. i will treat you like gold and make sweet love to you every night. i will try my best to fullfil all of your dreams for you. i love you so much that you just do'nt even know.
  • i am becomeing someone that others say is wrong. there are more out there so i am not alone. i need to find people like myself. woo hoo i can kinda type without looking!!! *dances*
  • I am bulimic. Outwardly I let on like I'm so perfect. I'm a cheerleader and I have a varsity footballer boyfriend. But..underneith all I can think about is being fat..and a failure.
  • i'm a boi, and I'm anorexic. i once drove a bulimic girl to the brink but not on purpose. i hinted that i knew what she was doing, and she started doing it constantly. so i dumped her to save her. she's put on weight.
  • a confession: I make out with or fuck nearly any girl I want to. Girls follow me home from parties. Even when I don't want them to. Even when I'm verbally abusive to them and try and scare them off. They still flock to me. I have the social skills to pick up ANY girl who isn't all about money and cars, and yet I live a miserable existence. Every girl I truly care about I push away from me. Every girl I love I force myself to hate. Every morning I wake up alone and feel like crying. I hurt everyone I care for, and so I live alone. That's my confession.
  • People never get to know me, they let others control what they think of me.
  • I'm scared I won't be what everyone wants me to be.
  • We're best friends, who sort of drifted into almost being a couple. we do absolutely everything couples in love do, except make out and have sex. Everyone tells me they know he's in love with me. "they've seen the way he looks at me". The way he touches me. the way he softly and tenderly kisses me. I've seen it too. and i know its true. But he denies it. But i know hes lying. And i deny it. Im lying through my teeth. we're in love with each other. Meant to be. and we're wasting time denying it. And i hate it. and i dont know what to do.
  • im not the sweet girl people know me as. i want to do bad stuff too. im so depressed and make myself look pretty so no one can see the real me.
  • i love how i look when my hair is wet.
  • i'm scared of what i have become; and what will become of others through these changes. pessimism outshines positivity and that is the worst reality to ever live in. hopefully things will come right.
  • I cut myself to feel something but I wish I could do something more
  • I think I still love someone who doesn't love me.
  • I'm afraid I'm going to fail at life.
  • I am in love with some one who I know my mom wont approve of. B/c of his skin color. =(
  • My boyfriend used to beat me. And if someone asked what the bruises were from I would lie and say I was clumsy...Everyone believed me and no one ever thought it was him because he was such a "great" guy. Now that I've broken up with him and gone through therapy I'm hurt that my friends never worried when I'd come to them with a black eye and bruises on my throat.
  • I adore my husband, - my soulmate - love...but would rather not have sex with him anymore.
  • this sounds rather silly but my close friend wants us to dress up together for halloween and even match for pictures when i would rather be a one-man show and have my own costume because i don't want to be lumped together with others.
  • My fiance is abusive both verbally and physically. I tell myself he he loves me and that he will stop yet I find myself wondering did his previous girlfriends tell themselves the same thing? I love him with all my heart and honestly I will deal with his abuse even if it ends up being the death of me.
  • I feel I don't even want to be here anymore
  • I am bulimic, but I'm like 15 pounds overweight. I eat non stop all day, then puke all night. 
  • I think I'm in love with someone besides my boyfriend...I adore him but I can't get this other guy out of my head. I hate people who are pretty on the outside and thinks that makes it ok that they're ugly on the inside. I hate people who fall for that shit even more. I think people who are proud of eating disorders or mental illnesses aren't really sick, they're just saying and acting out this shit to get attention while the people who are really hurting get ignored.
  • I'm really lonely and I think I am slowly turning into someone I hate someone I promised myself I would never be
  • every day i wish my dad had died instead of my mom, and i dont even feel bad for wishing it.
  • I'm a girl but I wanted to be a boy for all my life, Now that I'm 18 I want to be a gay boy... And I am pretty sure I will get there one day.
  • i still love you
  • I've been a cutter. I did it once for attention for love. 
  • I hate all my friends but I only stay with them because I don't think I could go anywhere else. One day I'll leave them and never go back.
  • I am becomming increasingly socially anxious again; "I don't love you anymore" only interprets as: "You aren't here anymore, there's no piece of you left, so you have to be let go... however you're not loved any less..."
  • i am wanting to date you Neatha. ^_^ hehe
  • I think you are the most beautiful girl I have seen in a long time. I only regret that I didn't meet you when I was single. I would caress you lovingly and gently like a real woman deserves..... only I can't.....
  • I wish I could have friends like everyone else. I wish I didnt push everyone away. I wish I wasnt so quiet and could talk to people like everyone else does but I'm always afraid of what they might think of me to the point that they start thinking I'm werid. 
  • I am still hurting even though it doesn't show. Please make the pain go away.
  • I think I like you a lot Neatha. Will you go out with me? hahaha this is anonymous so you dunno who's askin